Stay
by ThnksFrThMmrs87
Summary: Sometimes you have to find the strength, no matter how much it hurts. F/A, F/S


Note From the Author-- Yay for reposting. Okay, I fail and I willingly admit it. Everything I can find says Jennifer Angell, not Jessica. I think I probably should have known that but I'm usually paying too much attention to Flack to notice her, not going to lie. So here's the new post with the corrected name. This one has been playing in my head for months, urged on by the wonderful song it was inspired by, which I've been listening to nonstop :) Enjoy.

Disclaimer—I don't own the characters of CSI:NY or the beautiful song Stay by Sugarland, which inspired this story.

Jennifer Angell was a strong woman. She was a strong, self-possessed woman who knew herself and her limitations. She was confident and beautiful, good at her job and highly sought after. So she couldn't fathom how she'd ended up in a relationship this screwed up.

She should have know not to let it go this far. When they were harmlessly flirting it had been fine. They had exchanged glances and quips and though she had been left wanting, she had been content. But they had ended up in bed together and as clichéd as she knew it seemed she hadn't been able to walk away afterwards.

It wasn't that he treated her poorly, far from it. If anything it was that he treated her too well. He handled her like china and treated her like gold, but it was all because he felt the need to make up for the lack of a permanent place for her in his heart.

Hadn't she known from the beginning? Hadn't she seen the glances and the longing before they'd even started this charade? And yet she had let herself continue; she had let herself fall in love with him even as she knew that his heart was occupied with love for another woman entirely, a woman she could never replace.

For a while Angell had deluded herself into thinking that she could be a replacement. She thought that she could fill the gap and eventually, maybe things would evolve; maybe he would come to love her instead. She saw now that it was all in vain. They went out, they made love; they did everything a regular couple did. But in the end she knew that they were both just hoping for something else.

She jumped when the phone rang, and when she saw the name on the display she forced herself to take a deep breath. "Hey Don," she said quietly.

"Hey. Listen I'm just getting ready to leave the lab, I figured I'd stop by."

If she said what was in her head, there would be no going back; but she knew with a sudden clarity that she wouldn't want to. "Stay."

"Jen?"

"Stay, you know you want to Don." There was utter quiet on the other end of the line and she pushed on. "You know this isn't going to work any longer. We both know I'm not what you want."

Flack wanted to deny it, but even as he opened his mouth to speak he knew he couldn't. He leaned against the wall in the lab, his eyes squeezing shut. "I'm sorry Jen."

"I know you are, and so am I. We've both been trying force it, trying to fill the holes and the gaps when we aren't capable. We can't give each other what we need, and I'm strong enough to admit that."

"Jen."

She thought she knew what was coming next and it put her back up. "Don't try and convince me otherwise Don. I'm a better woman than this. Do you have any idea what it's like loving a man you're forced to share? It doesn't matter that you're not with her, I've been trying to stay in that tiny piece of your heart that isn't hers for so long, but I won't try to be her stand in anymore."

"I would never ask you to," he told her. "I just… God Jen I never meant to hurt you."

The tear that escaped to trail down her cheek seemed to solidify it all. "I know you didn't. It's time for both of us to move on with our lives. So you should stay; maybe work on getting what you really want."

Angell hung up and Flack was left alone with his thoughts in the emptying lab. He turned when he head her voice. "Don, are you okay?"

There she was, curls rioting around her face and concerned green eyes watching him carefully. 'Maybe work on getting what you really want.' Jen's words played on a loop through his mind and he shook his head. "Can we talk Stell?"

"Of course."

Dropping his phone into his pocket, he took her outstretched hand.


End file.
